At one time or another, many of us have been affected by workplace bullies — either directly or indirectly. Two surveys, one by Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) and the other by Zogby International, define bullying as, “repeated mistreatment: sabotage by others that prevent work from getting done, verbal abuse, threatening conduct, intimidation and humiliation.” The WBI study found that as much as 35 percent of workers have experienced bullying. Even more astonishing is that the vast majority of bullies sit in management and executive seats, which means they are able to leverage their power to suppress complaints against them.

Although bullies are often the catalyst of short-term spikes in production, the behavior is insidious to creating long-term productivity. In fact, a study conducted by John Medina found that individuals who are bullied in the workplace performed 50 percent worse on cognitive tests than their non-bullied counterparts. Another study, this one conducted by Dr. Noreen Tehrani, found that individuals who experience workplace bullying exhibit similar psychological and physical symptoms — such as nightmares and anxiety — as victims of violence from Northern Ireland and soldiers returning from overseas combat.

The impact of workplace bullying is far more significant than hurt feelings. It actually hurts the brain, and it hurts the heart.

A study conducted by Anna Nyberg of the Stress Institute in Stockholm of more than 3,100 men in a typical workplace environment over the course of a 10-year period found that employees with bullying supervisors — defined as incompetent, inconsiderate, secretive and uncommunicative — were 60 percent more likely to suffer a heart attack or other life-threatening heart conditions.

Recognizing Workplace Bullying

According to Workplace Bullying Institute, there are subtle and not so subtle behaviors indicative of bullying. The following 20 signs can be difficult to detect until patterns are well established, which can takes months or years. Yet, the anxiety and emotional upset they cause are felt each time the behavior is presented.

  1. Deceit: Repeatedly lying; creating false hopes with no plans to fulfill them
  2. Intimidation Using fear-inducing language and behavior
  3. Ignoring: Failing to invite someone to a meeting; purposefully avoiding the person or being selective in the attention that is paid
  4. Isolation/exclusion: Excluding someone intentionally or making them feel socially or physically isolated from a group, as well as excluding individuals from decisions, conversations and work-related events
  5. Rationalization: Constantly justifying or defending bullying behavior
  6. Minimization: Discounting or failing to address someone’s legitimate concerns or feelings
  7. Diversion: Dodging issues, acting oblivious or changing the subject to distract away from particular issues (i.e., canceling or no-showing meetings and avoiding people)
  8. Shame and guilt: Making an individual constantly feel that they are the problem; shaming them for no real wrongdoing or making them feel inadequate and unworthy
  9. Undermining work: Deliberately delaying and/or blocking an individual’s work; repeated betrayal; promising projects and then giving them to others; alternating supportive and undermining behavior
  10. Pitting employees against each other: Attempting to drive competition by pitting employees against one another; establishing a “winners and losers” culture; encouraging employees to turn against one another
  11. Removal of responsibility: Removing someone’s responsibilities; changing his or her role; or replacing aspects of his job without cause
  12. Impossible or changing expectations: Not establishing a job description or key areas of responsibilities; setting nearly impossible expectations and work guidelines; changing those expectations frequently so employees cannot be successful
  13. Constant change and inconsistency: Constantly changing expectations, guidelines and scope of assignments; inconsistency of word and action
  14. Mood swings: Sharp and sudden shifts in emotions
  15. Criticism: Constantly criticizing someone’s work or behavior
  16. Withholding information: Intentionally withholding information from someone or giving them the wrong information
  17. Projection of blame: Shifting blame to others and using them as a scapegoat
  18. Taking credit: Taking credit for other people’s ideas and contributions without acknowledging them
  19. Seduction: Using excessive flattery and compliments to gain trust and lower defenses so the person is more responsive to manipulative behavior
  20. Creating a feeling of uselessness: Making an individual feel underused; rarely communicating with the employee about his or her work; persistently giving employees unfavorable duties and responsibilities

The following bullying behaviors are far more overt and easily recognizable.

  1. Aggression: Yelling or shouting at an individual; exhibiting aggression verbally or non-verbally (e.g. pounding a desk, ripping up work)
  2. Intrusion: Intruding on someone by unnecessarily lurking around his or her desk
  3. Coercion: Aggressively persuading someone to say or do something against his or her better judgment
  4. Punishment: Undeservedly punishing an individual psychologically through passive aggression or emotionally through isolation
  5. Belittling: Disparaging someone or their opinions, ideas, work or personal circumstances in an undeserving manner
  6. Embarrassment: Degrading or humiliating an individual in front of others
  7. Revenge: Seeking unfair revenge when a mistake happens; retaliating against an employee
  8. Threats: Threatening unwarranted punishment, discipline, termination and/or emotional or psychological abuse
  9. Campaigning: Launching an overt or underhanded campaign to diminish a person in hopes of forcing them to leave the job or the organization
  10. Blocking advancement or growth: Impeding an individual’s progression, growth and/or advancement in the organization unfairly

How to Manage Workplace Bullying

There are several approaches that can be effective in managing workplace bullies.

Communication Tips

Communication is critical to managing bullying behavior, but it takes courage and emotional regulation. Following are several tips for managing bullies in the moment when the behavior is occurring:

  1. Self-regulate. Aggressive behavior can be very psychologically and emotional jarring, causing a person’s fight or flight mechanism to kick in. Focus on breathing to ensure a consistent flow of oxygen reaches the brain so the ability to remain present and alert is possible.
  2. Label the behavior and recommend a different behavior. Label the behavior — not the person. This lets the person know you are aware of his or her actions and informs the person on how he might behave differently.
  3. Active listening. Restate or paraphrase what was heard. This serves a dual purpose of confirming the listener correctly heard and understood what the speaker said and also provides the opportunity to verify that it was interpreted accurately. This practice allows both parties the ability to gain important insight into the emotions and feelings of one another and humanizes each other in the process.

Mediation

Mediation can be very effective in managing disputes or chronic bullying behaviors as it allows all parties involved to share their perspectives on the issue or issues and invites them to “walk in the shoes” of the other parties, so they can gain a deeper understanding of each person’s perspective on the situation. Together, and with the help of the mediator, the parties are able to envision and create a new path forward. This new path forward may include the behaviors that will and will not be tolerated, how disputes will be managed in the future, what actions will be implemented to course correct when bullying behaviors are presented, etc. The agreement may even include reparations: How the person who offended or bullied individuals can repair the harm that was done by the behavior. The power of mediation lies in the fact that the individuals involved in the dispute are given the opportunity to resolve the disputes in a manner most meaningful, and therefore effective, to them.

Conflict Coaching

Because mediation requires the participation of all parties involved in a dispute, it may not be a viable option. Let’s face it: The bully may have no interest in changing his or her behavior, and, therefore, may refuse to participate in mediation. If mediation is not a viable solution, conflict coaching can be a effective alternative. Conflict coaching is conducted on an individual basis in a one-on-one process. The individual experiencing the bullying can learn conflict resolution skills that may de-escalate the bullying behavior while enhancing his or her own understanding of the issues at hand. Conflict coaching allows the individual to learn strategies and skills for engaging with the offending party.

Conclusion

Workplace bullying can have a significant impact on a person’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being. Effectively managing destructive behavior in the workplace is not just critical to professional success, but it is also critical to personal well-being. Engaging a dispute resolution professional as soon as bullying behavior is recognized can minimize the impact of bullying behavior and transform the destructive relationship into a productive one.

Robyn Short is a mediator with expertise in transformative mediation and restorative justice models for dispute resolution. Whether in a corporate, nonprofit, academic or home environment, Robyn assists parties in discovering the root causes of their conflicts, so they may transform their relationships and create new and productive paths forward individually and as teams. Robyn helps organizations through mediation, facilitation, onsite conflict training seminars, leadership training and dialogue circles. Learn more at www.RobynShort.com.